The Myths and Realities of Romance Readers

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It’s Random Friday and that means it’s time for another topic that has been on my mind lately. This week is the myths and realities of romance readers. There is a backstory to why this has been on my mind and I’m going to share that. As a romance reader and writer, I get many different reactions that range from happy to crazy looks when I say I read and write romance, but one recently sparked this post.

Backstory: A guy said he loved to read too and when talking about book genres he proceeded to say romance novels were stupid, but that he would love to read what I have written. Now this conversation was on Facebook and like all my social media it says that I read and write romance and he had to have read my page to know I am an aspiring writer so he saw that I was a romance lover.

This conversation reminded me of all the myths that surround romance readers. So here are some myths vs realities that I have encountered.

Myth #1. They are full of sex 

many people believe all romances are full of sex and X-rated so they are turned on by them and shouldn’t be talked about.

The Reality: There are many levels of heat in romances ranging from only chaste kisses and no mention of sex to many full open door sex scenes that are explicit. Everyone has their preferences to the heat levels they read and many read them for the stories and not to be turned on.

Myth #2. They give unrealistic standards for men

This is another one that many believe. They think that readers develop unrealistic standards when it comes to men from reading romances and that the men are always perfect.

The Reality: Most of the men in romances are not unrealistic or perfect. There are bad boys, damaged men (although a hate the term damaged), some that try to be perfect, and some with secrets. They do give many woman higher standards, but mostly in regards to how they should be treated and respected.

Myth #3. They are fairy tales and couldn’t happen in real life

Another thing many believe is that romances are fairy tales that could never happen in real life at all. Perfect lives and no real problems for the characters or only one thing to over come.

The Reality: Many of the stories mirror real life with the problems and obstacles to over come. Some authors are inspired by their own stories or other real life stories. There are no perfect lives and easy rides to finding love. Who wants to have a boring perfect life.

Myth #4. You need a real man in your life

Another myth is that every romance reader is a single middle aged woman with no life and need a man. Or they are in a loveless marriage and need to escape into books.

The Reality: Readers come in all ages and with different relationship statuses. Many readers and writers are very happily married to the men of their dreams that are like some of the characters in romances. Some are single but have active lives with and without a man. They don’t live in houses with just cats.

 Myth #5. You have marriage or sex on the brain

If you read romance you either have marriage on the brain and it sends some men running. Or you are obsessed with sex and that’s all you want from men.

The Reality: For most readers, this is not true. Just like reading a sci-fi book doesn’t make you want to be an alien or being a wedding planner means your obsessed with weddings and being married (believe me, it doesn’t). Like in myth #1 there isn’t always sex in romances.

Myth #6. Romance readers are only women

All romance readers are women and there is nothing in them for men. Men would never touch a romance novel no matter the sub-genre.

The Reality: There are men that read romances. Look in any large romance Facebook group and you will probably find a few. Many are in the western groups and actively talk about the books with others.

Myth #7. Romances are only about a man and woman

Romances always feature a man and woman as the couple and never show any LGBT couples or anything considered taboo.

The Reality: While straight couples are usually what you see. There are romances that feature LGBT couples and even romances with three or more people in the relationship. There is something for everyone.

Bonus myth about writers.

Myth #8. If you write romance you are obsessed with sex and your husband must love reading your books.

Writers are obsessed with sex and that’s why they write it. That because all writers are women then their husbands love to act out scenes and read their books.

The Reality: Many don’t write sex scenes at all in their books. Also, many that are married will tell you that their husbands or wives (there are men that write romance and not all female writers are married to men and vice versa) don’t ever read their books. They are also asked about acting out scenes all the time and the answer is usually no they don’t act them out.

 

That it for the myths. Do you have any to add to the list? feel free to comment below or join my Facebook group to chat more about this.

 

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Random Friday: Behind the Scenes of Easter Photoshoot

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For Random Friday this week, I have a special treat because yesterday we did the Easter photoshoot with Lady Abigail and Lady Claire. Things have been so busy lately that we didn’t know if we would be able to do a shoot or not, but my brother (the photographer) had some down time to do it. As usual, there are plenty of behind the scenes photos for me to share and the final photos will be posted on Colt S Photography on Sunday for Easter.

We didn’t dress them up this time because it was 80 degrees out and even though the photos are done inside it’s hot and hard work for everyone. Lady Abigail did get a new flower for her collar and Lady Claire wore her other collar (that wasn’t as worn looking). These photos show Lady Claire’s silly and hyper personality and Lady Abigail’s love of photos. I only came out with one scratch to my hand from holding treats and it was better than last time in getting both to hold still and look the same direction.

Here are the fun photos:

Review: Sleeping Beau (Fiery Tales #4) by Lila DiPasqua

 

*This post contains affiliate links which mean I may earn a small commission if you buy a book through my link. There is no extra charge and I use these funds to feed my book addiction and keep my dog in sweaters. I only post links for books I love.*28269072

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Sleeping Beau by Lila DiPasqua

(also a part of the Historical Hellions box set)

My Rating: ❤❤❤❤❤

Spice Level: 💋💋💋💋💋

Buy Links

Amazon – Barnes & Noble – Kobo

Blurb

Inspired by the tale of Sleeping Beauty–an erotically charged historical romance novella from the acclaimed Fiery Tales series. One sleeping rake, one scorching kiss, one night of unforgettable passion…

Five years ago, the notorious rake, Adrien d’Aspe, Marquis de Beaulain, was awakened by a sensuous kiss–and experienced a night of raw ecstasy that was branded into his memory.

Years later, he spots his mysterious seductress–and this time, he has no intention of letting her go…

**NOTE: Originally published in the AWAKENED BY A KISS anthology.

My Review

*I received a copy of Historical Hellions which includes this book from one of the authors in exchange for my honest review

Normally I don’t like ones at this spice level, but I loved this one. I loved that it was set in France, that there was a small mystery surrounding that night, and a twist at the end I did expect. There is a lot of steam in this one, but enough of a story to balance it out for me.

Catherine had her reasons for what she did five years ago and the memory of that night has stayed with her. Once she told her whole story everything made sense and I loved her.

Adrien is not shy at all about the life he lives, but he is still loveable. There is something about how he wanted answers about that night that makes you love him because it wasn’t for bad reasons.

Random Friday: My Favorite Historical Shows and Why I Love Them

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This week I am talking about my favorite historical shows and why I love them. These shows are all in different time periods and it’s not just the good looking men in the shows (but that does help 😉 ). They are in no particular order because I could never put them in order of how much I like them. You will notice a trend of books inspiring shows and a trend in the settings.

Outlander 

I love Outlander because it has so much history in it. You can learn a ton just by watching the show and it makes you want to research thing on your own. Another thing I love is the costumes and how accurate they are in every way.  Normally I don’t like time travel, but this one is addictive and it all meshes perfectly. There are small differences between the books and show, but they are understandable changes and for tv, they make sense for flow.

The first time I saw it was after season one had aired and we had just gotten Starz. I decided to watch it and see what the hype was about and ended up watching the whole season in a week. I was glued from episode one and then I had to buy the books and read the first four before season two aired.

When Calls the Heart

This is a Hallmark channel show that I was drawn to because it is technically a western but set in Canada in the early 1900’s. I love the storylines and the romances (especially one that finally had something I have been waiting forever happen). The costumes and a few other things aren’t very accurate, but they are gorgeous costumes and the other things aren’t too far off for me. They show has handled some topics recently that I am happy to see.

I have watched it from the start because they are inspired by Janette Oak’s books (loved the Love Comes Softly movies) and because Michal Landon jr (a favorite person in the film and tv industry) is involved with the show. It’s a show you can watch with everyone in your house and not be shocked are embarrassed by scenes.

Poldark

This one has so much drama going on that it pulls you in. I love that it’s set and filmed in Cornwall and the drama with every character. Every season covers a couple of books in the series they are based on, but they are short seasons so things move fast. This one does have some pretty accurate costumes and shows how things were at that time in the mines and some of the crimes. They have said there are small changes from the books, but they say the way things are written in the books leave it up to the reader to decide how they see things.

I couldn’t wait for this one to start after seeing the preview for it. I haven’t read the books yet (the prices for even ebooks is high) but hope to one day to see what isn’t in the show. It’s one of those that if you blink you might miss something, but you become invested in the characters.

Call The Midwife

This one is more modern because it starts in the 1950’s, but it is important historically. It covers so many important topics from medical discoveries to women’s issues during that time. This is one doesn’t seem like a tv show when it comes to certain scenes and they don’t sugar coat things. You see the good and the bad of everything and it’s highly accurate in everything.

I didn’t discover it until last year coming across it on Facebook. I’m a few seasons behind and need to watch the ones I missed, but it pulled me in without knowing anything about it.

The Musketeers 

The name tells you right away that it’s about the three musketeers (even though there were more). It’s not accurate with the timeline of events (actors leaving and other things caused changes), but the action, drama, and costumes (not always accurate) are amazing. This one does cause you to want to learn about the time and historical figures on the show. You will want to pick your favorite musketeer.

It was a BBC show and I watched it from the start because I love the stories surrounding the real musketeers and when it started there weren’t many historicals to pick from. I was heartbroken to see it end last year.

 

Have you watched any of these shows? Do you have any to recommend? Leave a comment and let’s talk about it.

Random Friday: I’m All For Epilogues

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There has been a debate lately on if epilogues are needed or not and who is a fan or not of them in romances. Where am I in this debate? If the title didn’t give it away then I will say it again I’m all for them and love them. There are a few reasons I love them in romances and I will talk about them all.

1. Some books don’t need them

This is true. Every once in a while there is a romance that the ending covers everything and doesn’t leave you wanting to know a tiny bit more. But most of the time the book ends without a wedding and/or without you know the reactions of some characters to something. The epilogue can jump ahead and let you know if they had kids, how someone was punished for a crime, and if they are getting along with someone again. All things that if the book continued so you could get to that point it would be much longer and you probably wouldn’t care about the details.

2. It can lead you into the next book

There is almost always a secondary character in the book that gets your interest and you want to know more about. Many times the epilogue will have what character will be in the next book. The whole epilogue may only hint at it and it depends on how much the books connect, but you will most likely get a hint of the next book.

3. How the books in the series connect

You might be wondering how or if the books in the series connect and the epilogue can help with that. You might be introduced to a new character that knows the characters from the book you just finished. Or it can tell you if the next one picks up from where this one left. Sometimes the stories actually go on at the same time and intertwine and the epilogue will show it.

Just embrace the epilogue!

I know many others love them like me for the closure they provide and I know many think they don’t add anything or they can make you want to buy the next (which is one of the points).

Are there any reasons you love that I missed or anything you have to say about them? Leave a comment below and I will reply.

Repost Review: A Dangerous Invitation (The Rookery Rogues #1) by Erica Monroe

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 A Dangerous Invitation by Erica Monroe ( also a part of It Started With A Kiss Regency Box Set

My Rating: ❤❤❤❤❤

Spice Level: 💋💋💋💋

Buy Links

Amazon – Barnes & Noble – Kobo – Google Play

Blurb

Torn from her life of privilege by her father’s death, Kate Morgan relies on her knowledge of fine things as a fence for stolen goods in one of London’s dark and depraved rookeries. The last man she ever expects, or wants, to see again is Daniel O’Reilly, the man who promised to love, honor and protect her, but who instead fled amidst accusations of murder.

One drunken night cost Daniel O’Reilly the woman he loved and the life he’d worked so hard to create. If he ever wants to reclaim that life—and Kate—he’ll not only have to prove he’s innocent of murder, but convince the pistol-wielding beauty to forgive his many sins.

With a killer on the loose, time is running out for them…

My Review

I have read this book twice now because it is different from most historical romances. There are no balls and fancy estates in this book it gives you an insight into the life of living in the rookeries and slums of London and that’s what makes it a fantastic read. I loved that this book also involved real history with the murders and showed the horrible things that went on.

Kate is not your typical heroine, but also is at the same time. She is smart and strong and doesn’t take anything off of anyone, but she is also broken because of everything that has happened to her. She doesn’t want to rely on anyone again and thrives on being in control of her life now. At first, you may not like her, but you have to get to know her and you will slowly understand her and feel for her.

Danial is a different man than he was before, but he is still changing and finding his way. He was making a better life for himself when he was accused of murder and fled thinking that would protect Kate. When he came back he tried to pick up where they left off in a way and he ran hot and cold at times, but he also could see past everything that happened to Kate without judgment.

I knew there was something about Owen, but couldn’t put my finger on it until it was revealed. I never knew what was going to happen next and I want to know more about the gentleman thief so much.

*I received a copy from the author in exchange for my honest review*

My Dream Author And Reader Conference

dream-blogI was asked  what authors I would love to have at my dream author and reader conference so I started thinking about it and this is what I came up with.

I would love to have these authors at mine (listed in no particular order):

Ava Stone. All her books are amazing, but her books that involve hauntings give me the chills and I love it. I look forward to anything spooky from her even if it keeps me up at night.

Darcy Burke. Her books always leave me wanting more and I can never put them down no matter the series. She has a series about treasure hunting that talks about King Arthur that I love (and more people should read) and can’t wait for the next one.

Christi Caldwell. Her heroes are not your typical heroes. They need to be loved and saved in some way which is a refreshing change at times. Her heroines are different too because they are perfect like the heroes, but with imperfections too.

Lily Graison. Her books are the reason I started reading romance in the first place. The cowboys in her books all have something that I love. There aren’t many westerns that I love as much as hers.

Erica Monroe. She writes the best historical romances that have suspense, but most of all they are feminist historical romances. That was what drew me to her books and her characters always surprise me in some way.

Renee Bernard. She has a trilogy that has a heroine that can defiantly take care of things. I was glued to it when I read it and loved it even though it was a bit darker than most.

Delilah Marvelle. Her books are ones that I can’t put down. Her characters don’t hide behind an innocent persona when it comes to what they want and sex. They let loose from the restraints of what everyone thinks they should be like.

Diana Gabaldon. Her books aren’t always considered romance, but I love the history and realness that she has in her books too.

My list could go on and on forever and of course, I would love if all the characters I love could jump from the pages and join us.

You can learn more about organizing a conference at  https://www.eventbrite.com/l/conferences/

Happy Halloween! Fur Babies Photo Shoot Outtakes

Halloween is my favorite holiday so of course, I need to make costumes for my fur babies. I pet my sewing skills to the test this time by actually sewing a full costume for Abigail. I had to have a nod to historical romance by making her a little saloon/dance hall girl outfit. I hand sew everything so it took about a week for me to sew it, but it was fun and kept my hands busy. I went easy with Claire’s fairy costume since this is her first Halloween and I wanted to be able to use it again and we didn’t know how well she would take to being dressed up. She didn’t mind being dressed up at all, but holding still for photos was a challenge for her even with treats and knowing to say please by sitting (she has been taught to sit).

I call these photos the herding of flying squirrels because if one held still the other didn’t even though Abigail is the best at being a model she got annoyed with Claire jumping over her and not having as much space as we usually have to sit due to a different backdrop.

Photos are courtesy of Colt S. Photography and the full shoot will be on his blog Monday morning! There is a bonus shot of the back of Abigail’s costume.

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Random Facts About Me

I thought it would be fun to do a random facts about me list. So I asked my brother to list some random things about me and soon I will do the same for him.

  1. I’m a night owl. This is very true. I am the last to go to sleep and the last to get up. I have always been a night owl and spend most of the time reading.
  2. I write my name on lots of things. My dad made the mistake of saying “I don’t see your name on it” one time when I was little and now I write my name of almost everything. Usually, it’s the last piece of cake or something food related, but I do write my name on notebooks and other things.
  3. I love to crochet for others. I crochet dog clothes, gifts, bags and other things. I hardly ever make something for myself.
  4. I can not see in the dark at all. My eyes don’t adjust to the darkness like everyone else. I can barely make out anything in the dark and it’s almost pitch black for me.
  5. I have green eyes. I am the only one in my family to have green eyes. They used to look more hazel like my dad and brother, but are now a forest green color.
  6. I love to make things. I keep random boxes and other things because I could need them if I randomly decide to make something. I will see something and decide I can make it.
  7. I love old movies and music more than modern. I love music from the 50’s and up to the 90’s mainly country music, but also some old bebop like music. When it come to movies I love Cary Grant, John Wayne (and many others) and most movies from their time.

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    And a random photo of my Abigail